Day 21…

It was a good day followed by a hard night.

The morning went well.  Everyday it´s interesting to see which kids play with each other.  And every different group is a new dynamic, a new leader.  It´s good there are 5 of them because it seems that no matter what the circumstance they can always find at least one sibling that they are not mad at.

Darth has been incredibly defiant lately & has taken to hitting, needless to say she has been having a lot of redirection & time-outs/think it overs.  Poor girl for the past 2yrs of her life, according to La Casa, the rest of the group has catered to her every whim, she never had to wait for anything.  It is still hard for her siblings to see her upset (especially when she is crying in time-out), they try to make her laugh or bring her presents to appease the situation.  We have to remind them that she did not follow instructions & that she is our kid too & needs to think it over.  I think that it is good that the kids see they are all treated equal.  They no longer worry about Darth when she is crying, we make sure to discipline where the other kids can see, not as an audience but to build trust.  So they can see that hitting is not an option & will never be part of their discipline.

Our two youngest boys are still trying to understand when it is time to stop joking & when the joking has gone too far.  We are working on boundaries & social graces.  We are also working on table manners.  These two boys make a bigger mess than their 2yr old sister, we are practicing holding the fork correctly & taking smaller bites & not shoveling the food in our mouths off the table, oh boys!

Our oldest girl, still working on this one.  I don´t know how to describe her behavior.  If she is disciplined or doesn´t get her way in any way possible she completely shuts down.  Crying, upset, non-responsive.  But she is such a leader, we are patient & console her but also stand firm on our decisions.  Sometimes she likes them sometimes she does  not.

Our oldest has been doing much better but still hates when he does not get his way.  “Yo solo” (by myself), is his favorite phrase & my least favorite.  As of right now we let him do very little “solo” we are trying to teach him how to be part of a family & work as a team.  His other favorite thing to do when he is being disciplined is to disown us & tell us his name is “insert birth parent´s last name”.  It´s a dig that I try very hard not to show how sad it makes me.  98% of the time by the end of his 5min time-out he is ready for a retry & we are able to mend the relationship & reclaim him as a Nichols, but oh friends that one really gets to me.

I never realized how many hours were in a day before.  At home the days seemed to go by so quickly.  Here in Bogota time has slowed down.  We fill every minute of every hour with our family.  Some days feel very long, others I know I will never be able to forget, but again all are filled with our family & for that I wouldn´t change a thing.  We are learning to be a family.

Getting out some energy at the park.

Darth found a new friend at the park…can I tell you how much we miss the pups! Every dog we see is a little reminder of what we are missing at home 😦

It´s on my mind…

Prayer is the same, waiting & bonding.

At the dinnermesa,

Beth

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4 thoughts on “Day 21…

  1. The lashing out in anger by claiming their first name….oh can I relate! We’ve heard for weeks, maybe months a regular request to go back to the orphanage because its too hard here (aka we have rules/boundaries and they pretty much had free reign there). Sigh. Its breaks my heart, yet pisses me off at the same time. Certainly gives me the opportunity to practice the whole “engage brain before engaging mouth” technique! LOL! Its about what’s comfortable for them–what’s familiar–what they know. But we CERTAINLY have to have tough skin and not let it get to us.

    Hang in there…I’m sure everyone is ready to get home and start life together as a family in YOUR house. And I’m sure you miss your doggie kids SO MUCH! Continuing to pray for you…and every day hope that when I see your update it will say “we have a court date! We know when we’re coming home!” It will be soon. It will be soon.

    • dinnermesa says:

      Oh Kris, so glad that we are not the only ones!!! We are “preparing for rain” & for once it sound like TX has rain to welcome us home :). Thanks for the words of wisdom, all of your posts are so very much appreciated!!!

  2. Melissa Rendon says:

    Ricardo is praying for beth and tyler and for his friends to come home soon 🙂 you guys are amazing stay strong!! Love y’all.

  3. Sharon says:

    I wish I could tell you that the hurtful things that kids say to their parents are easily overlooked and forgotten, but you are experiencing the small tears in your heart that every parent feels when their kids lash out this way. The kids have learned a phrase that hurts you and they are using it when you are at your lowest and most vulnerable. The important thing is for you to remind yourself that they will one day realize how hurtful the words are and want to change them. God is strengthening you so very much and He is binding up your broken heart. Remind yourself daily of how much the God of the universe loves you and supports your decisions to make a difference in the lives of these children. Prayer, prayers, and more prayers coming your way.

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