It was a good day followed by a hard night.
The morning went well. Everyday it´s interesting to see which kids play with each other. And every different group is a new dynamic, a new leader. It´s good there are 5 of them because it seems that no matter what the circumstance they can always find at least one sibling that they are not mad at.
Darth has been incredibly defiant lately & has taken to hitting, needless to say she has been having a lot of redirection & time-outs/think it overs. Poor girl for the past 2yrs of her life, according to La Casa, the rest of the group has catered to her every whim, she never had to wait for anything. It is still hard for her siblings to see her upset (especially when she is crying in time-out), they try to make her laugh or bring her presents to appease the situation. We have to remind them that she did not follow instructions & that she is our kid too & needs to think it over. I think that it is good that the kids see they are all treated equal. They no longer worry about Darth when she is crying, we make sure to discipline where the other kids can see, not as an audience but to build trust. So they can see that hitting is not an option & will never be part of their discipline.
Our two youngest boys are still trying to understand when it is time to stop joking & when the joking has gone too far. We are working on boundaries & social graces. We are also working on table manners. These two boys make a bigger mess than their 2yr old sister, we are practicing holding the fork correctly & taking smaller bites & not shoveling the food in our mouths off the table, oh boys!
Our oldest girl, still working on this one. I don´t know how to describe her behavior. If she is disciplined or doesn´t get her way in any way possible she completely shuts down. Crying, upset, non-responsive. But she is such a leader, we are patient & console her but also stand firm on our decisions. Sometimes she likes them sometimes she does not.
Our oldest has been doing much better but still hates when he does not get his way. “Yo solo” (by myself), is his favorite phrase & my least favorite. As of right now we let him do very little “solo” we are trying to teach him how to be part of a family & work as a team. His other favorite thing to do when he is being disciplined is to disown us & tell us his name is “insert birth parent´s last name”. It´s a dig that I try very hard not to show how sad it makes me. 98% of the time by the end of his 5min time-out he is ready for a retry & we are able to mend the relationship & reclaim him as a Nichols, but oh friends that one really gets to me.
I never realized how many hours were in a day before. At home the days seemed to go by so quickly. Here in Bogota time has slowed down. We fill every minute of every hour with our family. Some days feel very long, others I know I will never be able to forget, but again all are filled with our family & for that I wouldn´t change a thing. We are learning to be a family.
Prayer is the same, waiting & bonding.
At the dinnermesa,