As I sit here typing, Tyler is having a stand-off in the living room holding our oldest son & telling him that he loves him. This evening feels like Day 1, our oldest has been sick & has been living a bit like an only child. Sleeping alone, having his own toys & not having to share, not having to help with meals, showering alone, medicine time with Abuelita alone. Well he is healed and back with the group, refusing to follow instructions, stating that he is not a our child, angry because it is not his way, telling us that he does not love us, wanting to be back alone away from his siblings. That´s okay we are not going anywhere, we are staying consistent with the rules & constantly affirming him that we love him & that he is a smart, handsome & good boy. That he needs to listen to Papi y Mami, that he is not the boss in this family & that he is in fact a our child.
It´s been a hard day friends. It is our 2nd day being completely in the apartment & it has gone surprisingly well, thanks to all of the great suggestions from my facebook friends. We built forts, colored, played with shaving cream, played hide & seek, watched one movie, & had pancakes for dinner. Tomorrow everybody is back to well & we are going to try to go to the park for a short while just to allow the kids to run off some energy.
Today we got to enjoy the aspect of having 5 children. They are all so different and delightful, they all play together differently & they all react to the good & bad differently.
Our oldest is still struggling of letting go of the role of the “boss”, he is defiant, challenges everything if it does not go his way, bosses around his brothers & sisters, and is selfish. He is smart, loves helping his brothers & sisters, he loves helping his family any way possible: in the kitchen, at the park, pushing the stroller, he is creative, likes to go fast, he gives out lots of besos & abrazos, he is quick to understand & enjoys playing with his Papi.
Our oldest daughter is the little mama, she does not enjoy being corrected, never thinks that she does anything wrong & bosses around her siblings, sometimes she says mean things to Papi y Mami. She is smart, creative, kind-hearted, hates to see anything suffering, she is beautiful, she loves to teach & is constantly assigning everyone homework, girl loves her family.
Our middle son is sneaky, selfish, cries if he doesn´t get his way & picks on his little brother. He is funny, adventurous, has a ridiculous laugh, enjoys a good joke, enjoys being a boy, he likes to take care of all his belongings but will share with his brothers & sisters, & really really really loves his Papi (choose him everytime :))
Our youngest son lies, takes things from others, yells if things don´t go his way, & pesters his siblings to no end. He is also hilarious, adores his big brothers, plays the “monster” in every game willingly, helps his sisters all of the time, shares with his siblings freely & loves to help set the table.
Our youngest daughter is defiant, screams if she doesn´t get her way, hits her siblings, and bites Papi & Mami when she is mad. She is also super funny, loves her big brothers & sisters, will play any game with any of them, loves animals, she likes to swing and she loves being tickled & bath time.
I asked my mom in the kitchen tonight after we had put all of the children to bed & Tyler was having the moment with our oldest if we are doing okay as parents, are we expecting too much, are we giving them a chance to succeed & find confidence in their new family. My mom responded with sage advice, “Children have to learn to submit to their parents, if they do not learn it will be that much harder to surrender their lives & submit to the Lord.” WOW!!! We are on a hard road, but I am thankful that the Lord has entrusted His children in mine & Tyler´s care. We will submit to His instructions.
So how did the stand-off end with Papi & oldest son…our oldest son just called in Tyler to say goodnight & tell him that he loves him.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6
“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” James 1:22-26
At the dinnermesa,