Day 6…

Well today started early, baby girl woke up crying at 1am but it was a great moment when my oldest daughter did not get up to help her but let Mami do the job.  I rocked her & put her back sleep & she woke up again in 2hrs, so she came & slept with Mami.

The kids are up by 6am every morning & ready to go.  We make breakfast together as a family which has been working out really well because in guarantees that they will eat it.  We then got ready quickly & headed to the park early today because the doctor was coming to the house to do the physicals for the kids for their records.  The park went okay, our older two boys are still struggling a lot with listening & rebuilding the relationship afterwards.  But we are trying to stay strong & remind them that we love them so much & that they are our family.

For example today our oldest son kicked his ball into the street & everytime before we play with the balls we remind them that if it goes in the street then they can´t play with it anymore.  While I was sitting with him I told him that I love him, that he is smart & handsome.  After each phrase I get a very rude, “no”. FRUSTRATION!!  But I remember he has 7yrs of life before I knew him & I have to remember “his story”.  The kids have begun trying to play us against us or punish us by asking for help from Tia Lorena, & Lauren has been fabulous of saying immediately “no” you need to go to Papi y Mami.

The kids did great for the doctor, they were polite & listened very well.  All are healthy, they are a little under weight & Darth needs some medicine for her heavy breathing.  Since they did so good for the doctor we told them that we had a surprise for them afterwards, we made lunches & bagged them up & headed to the park.   Lunch was good & they all did great, we had a few “I didn´t get my way & I don´t like Mami or Papi anymore,” but I am told that is part of being a parent.

After lunch we went with the family that we had met on Sunday at the park to a mall just outside of Bogota.  The kids did really well, we had to walk through the entire mall & I´ve never seen such big eyes.  These poor kids, this was not a great idea that we had.  Don´t get me wrong it was beautiful & the family was so kind but it was SO much for their bodies to try to take in.  We came to a huge wooden ship surrounded by sand that the kids can play on & I can remember working at the YMCA & our kids would have been all over it.  My kids walked around it several times, went up twice, my youngest boy did not go on the ship at all.  In the end we played as a family in the sand facing away from the ship.

Sometimes I forget that it´s only day 6, I forget about the years before they were with us.  At the mall today I remembered.   My kids do not laugh easily, smiles do not rest on their faces, the smallest thing shuts them down.  And I have to be okay with that, we have to meet them on their level & allow them the time to process this change.

Also please pray for me specifically, Tyler got onto me tonight & said, “you have to stop expecting the worst & living in fear.”  Gotta love when God puts you with the right person.  Oh friends sometimes I do, I think about the million ways I can mess this up, I think about the million things that could go wrong, & I do I live in fear…I live in sin.  Headed to the Word for some reassurance.

The big overwhelming ship

FInally a little bit of peace.

Funny story of the day: a dog came up to our picnic & Darth began grunting at it pretty aggressively.  The dog barked & Darth returned with a bark too.  Needless to say the dog didn´t get any food 🙂

At the dinnermesa,

Beth

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6 thoughts on “Day 6…

  1. Once again….Wow…you and Tyler amaze me…
    You are so full of God’s love for these kids! YOUR kids!
    Big difference is…you got them all at once and they come with a ‘story’, a background. Wow….I’ll wait patiently for Day 7! God is with you…and ‘This too shall pass’….Love you’ll….Becky

  2. Robin Burgin says:

    Please remember that for every “I don’t like you” that you hear, there is a “you are amazing” being said for you…and that’s just from your own “mothers,” which are many! Kids speak from an immediate spite (ouch, how many times have I done that as an adult!). God is gracious, and allows you to heal hurts for your kids by reminding them how much you love like He does. GREAT JOB, Mami y Papi. See you at home soon! Robin of the Burginairs (who I must confess, sometimes don’t like me, silly kids)

  3. Jennifer says:

    Oh Beth, your story is all too familiar! (before I go any further I am Emily’s sister-in-law). We have had our daughter home for 10 months now and I can completely empathize with every tantrem, terror, and bad behavior you are experiencing right now. We have two biological kids so adoption was completely new to us and we brought our daughter home right before her 2nd birthday, so she was not a newborn either. I can reassure you that it will get better and you will be amazed at the drastic changes your children will undertake over the course of a few weeks. Our daughter went from literally no eye contact, terrified of water, and would only allow me to hold her to a bubbly little girl who is quite a fish in the water and ventures out to others that she knows.
    Bringing home these kids who do have their own “stories” and past experiences is extremely difficult, but as a parent it is the most beautiful gift to see them transform into who God truley had planned for them. I hope to serve as a source of encouragement and prayer partner for you guys! Feel free to call on me anytime if y’all have questions or just need to vent! We met a family coming home on our long flight from Russia that we have kept in contact with and it is nice to just hear someone else say they have had a long day, too 😉 Your kids will push you harder and harder, but sadly it is only because they are fearful of bonding or trusting in you and your husband. Eventually that hard little wall will break and they will fall completely into your arms. As tiring as it will be, keep persevering!
    Jennifer

  4. Jennifer Dennis says:

    Hi sweet friends! We love you tons. I can just feel the emotions behind every sentence. I have cried over every entry I have read! It won’t take them long to trust you. Probably a much shorter time than for you to trust yourself. You are making wise choices. You will make mistakes and it will be okay, because your heart is firmly set in the right place. Remember, God will heal them. As they come to know him, he will heal their hearts.

    I am praying for you as I write this. I am praying for peace, blessings, insight, wisdom and a continuing sense of God’s presence.

  5. Sharon says:

    Kids will often say things like that — and then forget in an hour that they ever said something that might rip your heart out. They are so “in the moment” and they say things that may get them what they want when they want it. You are right to stand firm now and set the tone for future conversations. The agony of this week will one day be forgotten with the comments about how patient and loving you were in the very beginning. Praying for you guys constantly!! Keep the faith, and be confident that every mother fears that they will say or do the wrong thing. This is EVIDENCE that you are the mother to these precious little ones.

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