Pity party…

Pity parties are so easy to get into…especially a pity party for one.  You are the guest of honor, it’s all about you, attire “old basketball shorts & a stained t-shirt”, food “hot pocket for one”, theme “Pathetic”, pandora station: “Sarah McLachlan”.

Mother’s Day is this week.  A full day that reminds me of my most sensitive failures as a woman:

  • Barren
  • Husband can’t be a father: a man that God has blessed with a heart of love, compassion and integrity
  • Our parents can’t be grandparents: they are fun & fabulous and are ready to delight in their grandkids
  • Sisters & brothers aren’t aunts & uncles: they are going to definitely be the “cool” aunts & uncles, they are all creative & kind-hearted

We are so blessed.  We live in the United States of America.  We have a wonderful family that surrounds us in love.  We have friends that are loyal and a constant encouragement.  We have good health.  We have a safe home.  All of our basic human needs are met. We have a firm belief in our faith & are confident on where we will spend eternity.  We have been blessed with the opportunity of adoption.

But all it takes is one holiday to focus all of my jealousy & frustration on the unfairness of life.  A well-placed Hallmark Mother’s Day commercial can rip a hole in my armor.  The part of the service when the pastor calls all of the mothers to stand brings me to tears.  The “when are you going to be a mom” comment that is sure to come that day; grin and bear it.

I will get through this day. I will remember my blessings. I will take the emotional flood that will surely come that day and pour it into prayer for my waiting children.  I will celebrate with my friends who are moms, hope with my friends who are waiting for children, grieve with my friends who have lost children & love children who need a mom.

Life is too short; invest in people not in pity.  I will also change my pandora station to “Latin pop”…aka time to dance!

At the dinnermesa,

Beth

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5 thoughts on “Pity party…

  1. I was actually just praying for you this morning and am committed to praying for you the rest of this week as the holiday approaches. I remember those Mother’s Days when we were childless and how heartbreaking it was to have that day come and know that it wasn’t for me. I’m sorry you’re in that place now and I’m praying that God will comfort you and give you peace as you wait for your turn to be a mom. Hugs from a barren sister who has been there. Call anytime if you want to talk. Love you guys!

  2. Not really sure what to say to comfort you, dear friend. I have never been in those shoes. But what came to my heart, is what you have probably already heard and probably wont be very comforting…..You already are a mom…..your kids know you, they know your waiting for them and they are as excited to be finally getting a “real mommy and daddy” as you guys are to be getting your babies! Please know these are not my words, they are Our Fathers and he wants you to patch that hole in your armour with the FACT that you ARE a mom!!!

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